The space between “what was” and “what’s next”.
The uncomfortable space where I have begun to wrestle with questions of purpose and passion and trying so hard to fight my way out.
But the Lord says Wait.
Taste and see that I am good.
Don’t fear the discomfort, for I am with you.
In the space where I feel as if I am hanging on a clothesline between two big houses.. and both sides feel equally far. My hands are hurting, shoulders cramping, and taking a deep breath is almost nearly impossible. There’s fog all around me and I’m so claustrophobic it's suffocating.
I start to panic and my brain feels like is just spinning in circles.
Yet, if I squint, I can make out an outline of where I’ve come from, and it’s beautiful.
And if I put my glasses on and squint more, an even fainter outline of where I’m going appears, and I think, that just maybe, it’s even better.
But where I am.. in the middle, in the liminal space, it’s awful, almost unbearable. And I want to just let go. Give up. Raise the white flag.
But where does that leave me if I let go? That uncertainty is scary too. Which is why I keep holding on, pressing on, and believing that if I don’t give up, the fog will lift, and I will realize that the building in front of me, is actually much closer than it seems, it’s in arms reach.
And when I look behind me, I’ll see that one is a gorgeous backdrop to what is to come and not something to fear, or to long again for, but something that has shaped me into a fearless woman. A woman that is holding on for dear life in the liminal space, with a strength, courage and determined ambition that is unmatched.
It is here that I begin to believe in myself and where I’m going. I begin to see through the fog, that the other side is so much closer than I could have ever imagined. It takes patience, and perseverance, faith and determination I didn’t even know I had, to reach to the other side.
I believe that the Father’s hand will guide me to the ledge, and will lead me to his goodness because He ALONE is faithful. He never abandons His children, and even in the liminal space, in the discomfort, in the mess, in the middle, especially in the middle, it is God that is working the miracles to close that gap, to bring His Children to the promised land.